The 'squick' factor

America has brought some good words into their version of the English language, some of which cover the gaps in, primarily, the description of a state of mind which is difficult to get across using conventional English. One of those words is 'squick' which according to the 'Urban Dictionary' means a sense of distaste which is entirely personal to the sufferer and which does not necessarily imply the situation is itself tasteless.

One of the situations in which 'squick' now describes my own state of mind is currently to be found in some high profile reactions to grief. There are two current examples of this, the first being the Madeleine McCann case where the two parents, who had been the victims of a child abduction, encouraged a media circus by deliberately encouraging press coverage everywhere they went, holding well managed press conferences and virtually becoming TV stars over the first few weeks of Madeleine's abduction. Now they are trying to get the journalistic coverage to be more low key, possibly because they themselves are now under an adverse spotlight - and poor little Madeleine is still missing.

The second involves the tragic, horrible shooting of an eleven year old boy, Rhys Jones, an Everton football fan, in Liverpool, shot for reasons as yet unknown while cycling home from football practice. His parents of course reserve the right to grieve over their son's death as they see fit and in any way that helps the police to find his killer or killers but to see both parents, 6 days after their child's fatal shooting, at an Everton football match, the father standing on the pitch in an Everton football shirt, leading the prayers and appeals for his sons killers to be found was just a little unsettling.



Later the father wrote a poem for his son which some local playwright read out on the radio, all about God picking his own football team from past Everton heroes and finding little Rhys a vacancy in the forward line.

Well I don't know about any of the readers but, again, I respect the right of any bereaved parent to write any old sentimental slop they like if it makes them feel better but surely the ingestion of that sort of maudlin treacle, like going to the lavatory, is something that should be done in private and not inflicted on the world at large.

I don't know what's happening to the British. Does it date back to Princess Di or had the rot set in before that and I hadn't noticed ? I always believed that grief was very personal, very private and to be handled with as much dignity as possible, not paraded in front of 50,000 people while wearing an Everton shirt, or strolling up and down an Algarve beach in front of press cameramen. We seem to be living our lives like a soap opera where every sensational facet, even if it involves the loss of your nearest and dearest, has to be paraded in front of as many people as possible.

I'm sure Mr and Mrs Jones don't think that way, and would be outraged to read this but thats why I relish the term 'squick' factor. I recognise that they, and the McCanns have the right to handle their personal situations in any way which helps them to cope...but from a purely personal perspective it all lacks dignity, the sort of quiet personal bearing I have always associated with grief.

In short, it squicks me out.